


かわいいMystery

by SlytherinPirate



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Fluff, Love Hotel, M/M, Todd and Dirk are idiots, attempted blowjob, handjobs, scavenger hunt, they go to Japan and some people speak Japanese
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 19:32:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17814158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlytherinPirate/pseuds/SlytherinPirate
Summary: One day, while Farah is on vacation, Dirk and Todd receive a mysterious email that sends them all the way to Tokyo, Japan on a case to find a missing clock. However, Dirk forgets to book them a hotel room, so they end up at one of Japan's infamous love hotels-- and there's only one bed.





	1. What Happens When You Leave Two Idiots In Charge

**Author's Note:**

> My fic for the Valentine's Day Mini Bang!! Special thanks to Mod Hellz (DontOffendTheBees on AO3) for being an awesome beta, and translaforge on tumblr for being my amazing artist!
> 
> I tried to be as accurate to Tokyo/Japan as possible, however I chose to put in a couple of inaccuracies because of comedy/plot reasons (also I've never personally been inside a love hotel so who knows how accurate that is). Otherwise, every single place mentioned in this fic is a real actual place in Tokyo! Right down to details about what one might find in specific shops, or what street/train line one would have to take to get to certain places.
> 
> Enjoy!

The world was spinning. Thankfully, there was a very good reason that the world was spinning, and it was because Dirk was spinning. The new office chair in which he currently sat had a lovely little function that allowed him to spin, which he had immediately started doing upon sitting in it. It helped him think, he had explained to Todd, who had merely sighed at this and went to check the Agency email, leaving Dirk to his own spinning devices. Of course, while spinning might have helped Dirk to think, if he were to think about something, he currently wasn’t. After all, they had no cases at the moment, so what was there to think about? Nothing. Which is exactly what Dirk was thinking about as he spun around in his new office chair.

“Hey Dirk, we got an email about a case.”

Todd’s words had Dirk bolting right out of the chair, which in hindsight was a bad move, because the vertigo of having been spinning a moment previous and then suddenly not spinning sent Dirk stumbling to the ground as soon as he stood up. 

“Dirk!” Dirk’s best friend was at his side in a second, kneeling close to him as Dirk sat up on the ground, trying to become less dizzy. “Are you okay?” Todd asked with an amused chuckle. Dirk looked up at Todd with a pout and a raised eyebrow.

“Peachy,” he replied. Todd, continuing to laugh at Dirk, stood up and offered him an arm. Dirk took it and allowed Todd to help him to his feet. “Excellent assisting, Todd,” he said as he straightened himself out. 

“Sure,” said Todd, rolling his eyes. “Come take a look at this email.” The two of them went back to Todd’s desk to look at his computer screen. It had an email displayed that read:

 

**Subject:** A Message From The 2038 Pokemon CEO

Hello.

I have been led to your detective agency, and I see that you specialize in “unusual” cases. 

I come to you with a case of a missing clock. This clock is of vital importance, and I am hiring you, Dirk Gently, to find it. This clock has been touched by many influential people, and is a crucial part of my dream. 

This clock is hidden somewhere in the middle of Tokyo, Japan. You must venture to the other side of the world, and follow a series of clues laid out in order to find this most valuable item. 

I wish you luck, good detective.

Signed,

The 2038 Pokemon CEO

 

Todd was looking at Dirk for his reaction. After finishing reading the email, Dirk looked back at Todd with an excited grin plastered upon his face.

“A case in Japan!” Dirk exclaimed.

“Yeah, and we’re being hired by the CEO of Pokemon, too,” Todd added, with a matching grin of his own.

“And he’s from the future! See, it says he’s CEO in 2038! We might get to time travel again!”

“Gotta wonder how he found out about our detective agency, though.”

“Everything is connected, Todd. The Universe led him to us.”

“Yeah, probably.” Todd chuckled. “How are we going to fund a trip to Japan, though?” Dirk sighed at this.

“You have a point,” he said. “If only Farah were here, she’d sort out the whole money business. She’s very good at doing that.”

“Well, let’s call her and see if she can sort this out.”

“Excellent idea, Todd!” Dirk whipped his phone out of his pocket and selected Farah’s contact to call her. He frowned as the call went directly to voicemail, and Todd cursed.

“I forgot,” Todd said. “Lydia said she was going to force Farah to turn her phone off while she was on vacation. Dirk? What are you doing?” For Dirk had put his phone to his ear yet again.

_ Hello?  _ said a voice on the other end.

“Hi Lydia!” Dirk said, cheerily.

_ Dirk!  _ Lydia exclaimed, delighted.  _ What’s up? _

“I need to talk to Farah. We’ve got a new case!”

_ A new case? What is it? _

“The CEO of Pokemon hired us via email to go to Japan to find a clock!”

_ Oh. My God. Are you serious? _

“Seriously serious.”

_ That is so cool.  _

“But we don’t have the money for it, unfortunately. That’s why I wanted to talk to Farah. She manages the Agency funds.”

_ Oh man, Farah’s never gonna approve a trip all the way to Japan based on one email. _

Dirk groaned audibly, wondering what they were going to do if Farah wouldn’t approve the funds. Maybe Todd could win the lottery again. Or maybe he could go back to palm reading and tarot cards like he did when he first got out of Blackwing.

_ But,  _ said Lydia, causing Dirk to perk up and listen carefully.  _ I think this case sounds awesome, and I also happen to be like, filthy rich. I can transfer you the money. _

“Really?” Dirk’s face split into a positively euphoric grin. “You would do that?”

_ On one condition. _

“What’s that?”

_ You gotta use some of the money to go buy me an outfit from Angelic Pretty. It’s a lolita fashion shop. You’ll find it in Harajuku, the fashion district. _

“Sounds fantastic!” said Dirk, though unaware of what exactly ‘lolita’ fashion was. Regardless, if it would help Lydia express herself through her clothes, he was more than happy to help. He happened to be sort of an expert in that field.

_ I’ll transfer you the money for the flight and the outfit. You boys have fun! _

“Thank you so much, Lydia,” Dirk said.

_ You guys saved my life, even if you did throw me off a bridge. I owe you. See ya! _

And with that, she hung up, leaving Dirk to turn to Todd with a smile.

“Todd, we’re going to Japan!”

 

“That Thailand airport was so great--”

“Taiwan, Dirk.”

“I mean with all the Ciao Cat things everywhere--”

“Are you talking about Hello Kitty?”

“And all the shops were so fancy! I felt like a rich person walking through everything, didn’t you?”

“Sure, Dirk.”

Todd loved Dirk. He really did. He was past the point of admitting that to himself, though it had taken him many months to finally sort out his feelings for his best friend. But Todd Brotzman was irrevocably in love with Dirk Gently. That was an unmitigated fact. However, Todd had also just been next to Dirk on a plane for fifteen hours. Dirk’s excitement at the new case and the traveling made him unable to sleep, and he had adamantly refused Todd’s offer of sleeping pills (something about being forced to take them when he was younger, and Todd wasn’t going to push the topic). As a result, Todd was faced with an unending string of talking. This continued during their layover at the Taipei international airport, and was only somewhat broken during meal times (though Dirk did also have a habit of saying how delicious something was while he was eating it). 

Now, they were back on the plane, finally on the way to Tokyo, with Dirk sitting by the window and Todd on the aisle. They were on the last leg of the trip, which is what Todd kept repeating to himself.  _ It’s almost over…  _

“Bloody hell, would you look at all those capes? What on earth have I got jackets for? Why don’t I have capes?” 

Todd had thought that Dirk might stop talking if he put on a movie, but no such luck. Dirk was watching  _ Solo: A Star Wars Story  _ on the little screen on the back of the chair in front of him, and he could not stop commentating on what he was seeing. Todd glanced over when Dirk started rambling about capes, and noticed that his friend was at the scene that took place in Lando Calrissian’s cape closet. 

“As much as capes are, uh, cool, I guess,” Todd said, raising an eyebrow at the screen. “Maybe stick with the jackets? They look good on you.” Todd flushed slightly as he said this, and glanced over at Dirk, only to notice that Dirk hadn’t heard a word he had said.  _ Oh God, he has earbuds in, he can’t hear me,  _ Todd thought with an amused smile, thinking of a meme Amanda had shown him recently. He thanked God that Dirk didn’t actually buy into that capitalistic crap Apple was promoting with those damn airpods, or he might have to rethink his feelings towards the detective. Todd sighed and got his own earbuds out of his pocket and plugged them into his phone. He put them in his ears and was just about to relax and listen to some music when a flight attendant appeared next to him. He took his earbuds out and nudged Dirk, who looked around. Noticing the flight attendant, he paused his movie and took his own earbuds out as well. 

“ジェントリー様？ダークジェントリー様？” said the flight attendant, which merely earned her confused blinks from Dirk and Todd.

“J-Jen…?” Todd repeated, confused. “Jen-to-ri-- Oh! Dirk, I think she’s saying ‘Gently.’” Dirk perked up at this, straightening up in his seat.

“Yes, I am Dirk Gently… desu?” he said, tilting his head sideways at the flight attendant. 

“I was told to give you this,” the flight attendant said with a smile, holding out an envelope to Dirk with both hands. “お取てください。”

“Thank you,” Dirk said as he took the envelope. “I-I mean, arigatou.” Dirk examined the envelope as the flight attendant walked away.

“Well?” said Todd, raising his eyebrows. “Are you gonna open it?” Curiously, Dirk worked the envelope open and pulled out a small slip of paper from inside. He stared at it for a moment, and Todd leaned over into Dirk’s personal space to see what it said.

‘ _ Honoring war dead is perfectly fine, unless you’re honoring them at this shrine.’ _

“What does it mean?” Todd asked, bewildered. 

“It’s a riddle,” Dirk said, an excited grin splitting across his face. “This is going to be so much fun.”


	2. Dirk Being Definitely Totally Not Psychic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk and Todd check into their hotel, and discover some... odd things about it. Then, the next day, they figure out their first clue!

“So,” Todd said as the two of them were heading out of the airport. “Where are we staying?”

“Hmmm?” Dirk looked up at Todd with an innocently confused expression.

“You…” Todd furrowed his brow at Dirk and stopped in his tracks. “You did book us a place to stay, right…?” Dirk frowned.

“I thought you were going to do that,” he said. Todd gaped at him.

“Dirk, remember when I booked the flight, I asked if you could book a hotel and you said ‘yeah, sure?’”

“Did I?” Dirk asked, trying to think. Vaguely, he did remember being on his computer and watching a youtube cat video, and Todd had asked him to do something, to which he replied that he would. “... Shit.” Todd sighed.

“What are we going to do, then?” he asked, thoroughly frustrated.

“Well…” Dirk pursed his lips. “We could… go to a popular part of the city and walk around until we find a place to stay?”

“I--” Todd looked at Dirk helplessly. “Yeah, sure. Fine. Knowing you, that’ll probably work, I guess.”

“Great!” Dirk grinned, and Todd couldn’t help but give him a weak smile in return.

 

This brought Dirk and Todd to Shinjuku about two hours later, after taking a vexingly long bus ride. While being a little bit more expensive, it at least saved them the trouble of getting completely lost trying to take a series of trains there instead. The bus dropped them off at Shinjuku station, a bustling hub of commuters and tourists alike that was placed in the middle of one of the most popular areas of one of the biggest cities in the world. Dirk didn’t let that knowledge bother him, however, because he simply didn’t have it. Besides what Todd had told him about the Japanese language and a tiny bit about Tokyo, Dirk hadn’t done any research of his own, figuring that the Universe would provide him with whatever information he would need. Toting suitcases, Todd followed Dirk through the crowds as Dirk followed the Universe to wherever it had decided that they should end up. 

They did see a lot of hotels, but every single one of them seemed to be way out of their price range. Finally, after turning down a small road, Dirk spotted a little hotel with a sign out in the front of it, listing the prices. 

“Aha! Look, Todd! This place looks cheap.”

Todd caught up with him and examined the sign as well, before looking up at the building in front of them. There were two signs on the front of the building. One, in orange, said ‘Hotel X.’ The other, right next to it in green, said ‘Hotel O.’

“You have a good feeling about this place, Dirk?” Todd asked. Dirk nodded enthusiastically.

“Definitely.” Without further ado, Dirk strode inside, with Todd following right on his heels.

The first strange thing that Todd noticed was that there was no receptionist. There was only a vending-machine sort of thing that displayed reservation options. Dirk strode up to the machine right away and changed the language setting to English.

“Hmm. Do we want a ‘stay’ or a ‘rest’? Oh, it looks like a ‘rest’ only gives you a few hours here. ‘Stay’ it is, I suppose,” Dirk said as he looked at the options that appeared on the screen.

“They give the option to only stay here for a few hours?” Todd asked suspiciously, coming up behind Dirk. “That seems… kinda shady.”

Dirk fed the money into the machine for their reservation and was rewarded by the machine producing a room key for the pair of them. Dirk held it up to Todd triumphantly.

“Excellent! Let’s go to our room, shall we?” said Dirk.

“Yeah,” said Todd, albeit somewhat reluctantly. “Then I can use the wifi to research that weird riddle and try and figure out where we need to go.”

The two of them set off down the hallway towards where a sign said the lift would be. Dirk bounced excitedly all the way up to the floor their room was on, and was the first to exit the lift once they got there. On the way to their room, however, Todd noticed another vending machine.

“Uhh..” was the only thing that he could think to say as he stopped in his tracks, looking at the wide assortment of dildos that one could pick out from the machine. “Dirk, what kind of hotel is this?”

Dirk, having marched straight ahead and not noticed the machine, looked back to see what Todd was talking about. He paled at the sight of the sex toy vending machine.

“Oh,” was all he could say. He and Todd shared a glance, before Dirk blushed and looked away. “That’s… probably why it’s cheaper, I suppose.”

“For a sex hotel, this place is surprisingly clean,” Todd said, looking around, trying to alleviate some of the awkwardness.

“Y-Yes, well.” Dirk cleared his throat. “Let’s just… get to our room?” 

“Yeah. I mean, we’ve already paid, right? So we kind of have to...”

“Right.”

Todd nodded and followed Dirk further down the corridor. They soon got to the room listed on their key card and opened it to find a small, yet luxurious room with a couch, a flat screen TV, and most prominently, a large bed that took up about half of the room. Dirk’s face reddened as he took in the sight of the bed.

“A-At least it’s big?” Todd offered, trying and failing to be helpful, and instead only causing Dirk’s blush to deepen.

“R-Right,” said Dirk. “Well. Let’s get to work then, shall we?”

Todd nodded.

“Right, yeah, totally,” he said. The two of them set their suitcases near the bed, then Todd took his laptop out of his backpack and went over to sit on the couch as Dirk headed into the bathroom. Just as Todd opened Google, he heard an excited gasp.

“Todd! They’ve got a jacuzzi!” he heard Dirk yell. “I knew I packed my swimming trunks for a reason!” Dirk came back out of the bathroom, positively grinning. He spotted a menu sitting on the counter by the TV. “And look, they’ve even got room service! This place might not be so bad after all. I wonder what they’ve got on TV?” He picked up the remote and sat down next to Todd on the couch. 

Before Todd could warn him, Dirk had turned the TV on, only to be presented with a variety of porn options. 

Dirk blinked several times, and as soon as he realized what he was looking at, he turned bright red and immediately turned the TV back off. He and Todd sat there in awkward silence for a moment or so. “Right,” said Dirk, finally. “Sex hotel. Almost forgot.” He turned to look at Todd sheepishly, and Todd couldn’t help but laugh.

“It’s got a jacuzzi though, at least,” Todd said with a shrug and a smile. “You wanna hop in while I do some research?” 

Dirk grinned again and nodded before springing up to go over to his suitcase and dig out his swim gear. Todd googled their hotel as Dirk rushed past him and back into the bathroom, and sure enough, he discovered that it was something called a ‘love hotel,’ a type of hotel that Japan had for couples to go to and have some ‘private alone-time.’ Todd sighed and rolled his eyes, wondering why the Universe was deciding to taunt him like this, before deciding to get working on that riddle, which might hopefully serve as a distraction to this awkward evening. Now where did that piece of paper with the riddle on it get to? Todd remembered, after receiving the riddle on the airplane, Dirk had lifted his butt off the seat to shove the paper into his back pocket. The back pocket of his trousers, which he wore to the hotel. The trousers that were now in the bathroom, with Dirk. Todd groaned. Feeling stupidly nervous, he got up and went over to knock on the bathroom door.

“Dirk? Can I come in?” he called through the door.

“It’s unlocked!” Dirk called back. Todd opened the door and was immediately hit with the humidity of the room inside. There was, indeed, a small jacuzzi in the middle of the room, in which Dirk currently sat, surrounded on all sides by bubbles. Todd blushed as he looked at his friend’s exposed neck and shoulders, and quickly looked away, scanning the floor for Dirk’s clothes. 

“I need to get the riddle out of your pants pocket,” he explained, walking over to the clothes. “Can I?” he asked, gesturing to them.

“Go for it,” Dirk said with a nod as he relaxed in the jacuzzi, feeling perfectly content.

“Having fun?” Todd asked with a chuckle.

“So much fun.” Dirk flashed him a smile, which caused Todd’s blush to deepen. “After you do your boring research, you could join me in the jacuzzi?” 

Todd swallowed nervously.

“I-I didn’t pack any swim stuff,” was his excuse. Dirk pouted at him. 

“Fine,” Dirk conceded. “Go do your boring research then.”

“Things can never be boring with you around, Dirk,” Todd said. Dirk smiled at him, and Todd rolled his eyes before leaving the room with the slip of paper in his hand.

 

It had been late enough when their plane had arrived the previous evening that as soon as Dirk was satisfied with the jacuzzi, he had gone back into the main room to change into his pyjamas, only to find Todd already fast asleep in the large bed. He had smiled softly at his friend, marveling at how peaceful he looked. Todd’s big blue eyes were closed, and his usually expressive countenance was finally void of the stress he seemed to always be under. Dirk had changed and gotten into bed beside Todd, taking the opportunity to be close to him without him noticing and acting all weirded out or making that uncomfortable Todd face he was always making. He was in love with Todd, and that simple fact was the only thing he could think about as he gazed at the sleeping face of his wonderful, brilliant assistant. But Dirk was so grateful to Todd for being his friend, something that Dirk thought only ever happened to  _ other  _ people and not to him, that he would never do anything to jeopardize that. 

So Dirk had reached over to touch Todd’s hair lightly with his fingers and smiled before withdrawing his arm and closing his eyes, knowing that he was sure to sleep much better than normal with Todd right beside him.

_ AWAKE. AWAKE. YOU ARE AWAKE. _

Dirk let out an audible gasp as he woke up, the incessant voice he used to hear daily ringing in his ears. It died away as soon as he opened his eyes, however, and the only sound he heard was soft breathing coming from under him.

…

_ Under  _ him?

Dirk was suddenly very aware of the fact that he had somehow snuggled up with Todd during his sleep, so that his head was now on top of Todd’s chest, one of his arms sprawled across his body. Dirk was also aware of the fact that Todd, for his part, was holding him rather tightly, as one might hold a teddy bear, meaning that Dirk couldn’t move without waking the other up. Not that Dirk particularly wanted to move, of course. He had been daydreaming of waking up like this for months. He closed his eyes again with a smile, relaxing as his head rose slowly up and down with each of Todd’s breaths. He nuzzled his face into Todd’s chest a bit, which was a mistake, because the movement caused Todd to stir, letting out a small waking-up groan as he did so. Dirk looked up at his face as Todd opened his eyes, and the two gazed at each other for a moment, Dirk with bated breath as Todd, still just waking up, slowly realized what was going on.

As soon as Todd was awake enough to give Dirk a very confused look, Dirk considered that his cue to get off of him. He hastily retreated from Todd and over to the other side of the bed and looked away, clearing his throat. 

“Sorry,” he said, curtly, his face reddening. “I do that sometimes, when I sleep. The, er, cuddly thing.”

“It’s fine!” said Todd, rather loudly, which caused Dirk to look back up at him. He didn’t miss the blush that adorned Todd’s cheeks. “No, yeah, it’s okay,” Todd continued, awkwardly. “What time is it?” Perhaps to get away from the awkwardness of the situation, Todd looked around for his phone. Discovering it on the nearby table, he picked it up and turned it on, groaning at what he saw. “It’s only 7:30am.”

“We can get an early start on the case, then,” said Dirk, scrambling out of bed in his excitement to get ready for the day, as well as his haste to avoid any more awkward situations involving him, Todd, and a bed.

“We should  _ not _ have gotten an early start on the case,” Dirk called to Todd over the crowd. “This was a horrible idea!” 

It had taken one Google search the night previous for Todd to find out that they needed to go to Yasukuni Shrine, a controversial Shinto shrine in Kudankita that honored the war dead of World War II, which included but was not limited to some war criminals. Upon arriving at Shinjuku-Sanchome Station, they had boarded the Shinjuku line and were immediately bombarded with the Tokyo morning rush hour. Dirk was now squished between a middle aged salaryman whose briefcase was pressing painfully against Dirk’s hip, and a high schooler who looked like she would rather be literally anywhere else.

“You think?” Todd called back, wedged between a businesswoman, and an unfortunately tall university student whose armpit was the same height as Todd’s face. The doors opened and Dirk and Todd were shoved further back and further apart from each other in the sea of people as even more morning commuters pushed their way onto the train.

They both breathed a sigh of relief when they heard the overhead voice announce that the next stop would be “Kudanshita.” When the doors opened next, the two of them pushed and shoved their way out of the train and reunited on the platform, both very sweaty and disgruntled.

“Let’s… never do that again,” Todd suggested, getting out his phone to map them towards the shrine.

“Agreed.”

Dirk had whipped out his phone and was taking pictures as soon as they got near enough to the shrine to see the  _ torii _ , the gate that signified the entrance.

“Where do you think the riddle was trying to take us? Like, where do we look?” asked Todd, glancing around, trying to spot anything unusual. Well, more unusual for them than a Japanese shrine, that is to say. Not being much of an expert on Japan, Todd didn’t really know what to look for, or what  _ not  _ to look for. Perhaps he could look for some kind of portal? But honestly, who knew, what with Japan’s state of the art transportation. For all he knew, maybe they  _ did  _ have portals.

“The Universe will take us where we need to go, Todd. Don’t you know how this works?” Dirk slipped his phone back into his pocket and started walking into the shrine.

“Right, yeah,” Todd said resignedly, following him. 

“We should do what those people are doing!” Dirk exclaimed, pointing towards the people who were making offerings to the  _ kami _ , deities of the shrine. He walked faster, causing Todd with his short legs to struggle to keep up. Dirk made it to where he had seen people throwing coins into a coin thingy, and dug a 5-yen coin out of his pocket. Having a hunch that it would do rather nicely, he tossed it into the thingy. Then, without completely knowing why, he bowed twice, then clapped twice.

_ Now I’m supposed to ask for something,  _ he thought.  _ Shit. Er…  _ He closed his eyes, putting his hands together.  _ Let me continue to have this,  _ he prayed.  _ This life, with these friends… and Todd. Please.  _

Dirk opened his eyes and bowed again before turning back to Todd, who was looking at him, very confused.

“What did you just do?” asked Todd, glancing between Dirk and the coin thingy.

“I think I just prayed to a  _ kami, _ ” Dirk said, excitedly. “Try it!” Todd raised his eyebrows at Dirk for a moment before giving in.

“Fine,” he said, stepping closer to the thingy. “What do I do? Bow twice…”

“Then clap twice,” said Dirk. “Then make your wish, or prayer, or whatever, then bow again!”

“Right,” said Todd. He pulled a 10-yen coin out of his pocket and was about to throw it when Dirk stopped him.

“No!” shouted Dirk, startling Todd so much that he dropped the coin onto the ground.

“What? What’s wrong?” Todd asked, stooping down to pick up the coin. 

“Don’t do that coin. Have you got a 5-yen one?” Dirk asked. Todd furrowed his brow at him.

“Yeah, I think so.” Todd pulled his coins out of his pocket and picked out a 5-yen. “Why?”

“Throw that one in instead.”

“Okay…?” Trusting whatever hunch Dirk had, he tossed in the 5-yen coin, before bowing twice, clapping twice, and closing his eyes. Dirk smiled at him as he did this. He couldn’t help but wonder what Todd was praying for. Soon enough, Todd opened his eyes and bowed, just as Dirk had.

“Excellent!” said Dirk. “Let’s go this way.” Taking Todd’s arm, he began dragging him towards a little structure with drawers in it, where people would put a coin into a slot, then shake a can full of sticks until one fell out of the hole, and then open the drawer with the number that was written on the stick. “I think they’re fortunes!” Todd perked up at this.

“That sounds interesting. How much are they?”

Dirk looked around and spotted the sign with the price on it.

“100 yen,” he said. Todd reached into his pocket and took out a hundred yen coin, handing it to Dirk. “Thank you, Todd,” said Dirk with a grin. He went over and put the coin in the slot. Following what he had seen the other people do, he picked up the can and shook it until a stick fell out of the hole. He blinked as he looked at the writing. It said, “二四六.” 

“What does it say?” asked Todd, coming up behind Dirk.

“I’ve got no idea,” Dirk replied. Todd took the stick and examined the writing before taking out his phone to attempt to look up the characters. Dirk, meanwhile, stared at the numbered drawers. His eyes stopped roaming when they reached drawer number 246. He squinted at it before reaching over to open it, and took out the slip of paper that lay inside. 

“Hey, Dirk, it looks like those are numbers! I think they’re two, four, and--” Todd stopped when he looked up and saw that drawer 246 was already open, and that Dirk already had a slip of paper in his hand. “Right, psychic,” Todd said, amused. Dirk looked up and glared at him. “Okay, not psychic.” Todd raised his palms in mock surrender. “What does the fortune say?”

“It’s all in Japanese, except for this part at the bottom,” said Dirk. “ _ Near the crossing, across from kebab, an open bar is your next job. Above the Maccies an izakaya waits, to drown you in both beer and your fates. _ ”

“Holy crap, that’s… that’s another riddle!” exclaimed Todd, grabbing the paper from Dirk and looking at it. “It looks like… directions?”

“Todd, I think I know what this is,” said Dirk, becoming excited.

“What?” asked Todd, looking up at him.

“A scavenger hunt.”


	3. Why Getting Drunk On A Case Is Never A Good Idea (Or Is It?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk and Todd end up drinking a bit too much and some feelings come out into the open. But what will they do about it when they're sober?

Todd had been so smart, Dirk thought, to figure out that the “crossing” mentioned in the riddle was referring to Shibuya Crossing, an infamous major intersection in the middle of one of the most popular areas in Tokyo. 

“‘Near the crossing, across from kebab, an open bar is your next job,’” Todd recited as they stood near a lovely statue of a dog that seemed to be a very popular destination. Todd was standing with his arms crossed, trying to solve the riddle, while Dirk eyed the dog statue with interest. “We made it to the crossing, but I don’t see a kebab place anywhere. ‘Above the Maccies, an izakaya waits…’ What even is a Maccies?”

At this, Dirk looked at Todd in alarm.

“What do you mean, ‘what’s a Maccies?’” he asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

“I’ve never heard of it before, have you?” Todd raised his eyebrows at Dirk.

“Todd…” Dirk stepped closer to him, feeling slightly concerned. “You have  _ definitely  _ heard of Maccies. We literally ate there together less than a week ago.”

“So it’s a restaurant?”

“ _ Maccies,  _ Todd! McDonald’s!” 

“Ohhhhhh,” said Todd. “Who the Hell calls it ‘Maccies?’”

“Everyone did, I thought,” said Dirk, pursing his lips to think about it. 

“I have literally never heard anyone call it that.”

“Well maybe you just hear things wrong.”

“Sure, whatever.” Todd rolled his eyes. “Let me just get out my phone, I’ll search for the nearest--”

“Todd, we’ve got to go, the light’s green!” Dirk suddenly shouted. Todd nearly dropped his phone in alarm as Dirk tugged on his arm to get him to cross the street with the crowd. 

“You have a hunch?” Todd asked, allowing Dirk to continue holding his arm even as he caught up. Dirk nodded.

“We have to go that way!” He pointed ahead of them with the hand that wasn’t still on Todd’s arm.

They soon made it out of the crowded crossing area and onto a pedestrian street littered with brightly lit shops and restaurants. After walking for only a few minutes, Todd gasped and pointed.

“Hey! A McDonald’s! Or, Maccies, or whatever!”

Dirk grinned at him and squeezed his arm lightly. 

They came to a stop in front of the McDonald’s and looked around for any of the other signs from the riddle.

“Oh shit, there’s a kebab place,” said Todd, pointing at a small shop across the street where the vendor would cut meat from a slab and put it in sandwiches and wraps with various sauces.

“Is that what kebab is?” asked Dirk, furrowing his brow as he looked at the shop. “I thought it was where you put some meat on a skewer-thing.” Todd blinked at him.

“A… a  _ shish- _ kebab?”

“That must be it.”

“No, yeah, this is like, real kebab. But I haven’t had it since my family went to Israel years ago.” Todd smiled fondly at the memory, and Dirk smiled at him. “That was a few months before I started lying…” Todd’s smile faded, and Dirk rubbed his arm soothingly.

“You can’t change what you did in the past,” he said. “But now? You’re one of the most honest people I know.” Dirk’s own smile faded as he thought about his own secret that he was keeping from Todd. But he could never tell Todd how he truly felt, not without risking their friendship. 

“Thank you, Dirk,” Todd said, laying his hand on Dirk’s.

At that moment, Todd was shoved forward by a passerby, nearly falling right into Dirk. Dirk steadied him, and the two of them gazed at each other, their faces merely a few inches apart, before Todd stepped back, clearing his throat awkwardly. 

“I-It’s supposed to be above the McDonald’s, right?” Todd asked, looking behind them at the building that housed the McDonald’s. “There’s an elevator in there.”

Dirk looked behind Todd at the elevator with curiosity before letting go of him and going to look at the signs, signifying which other companies were housed in the building. There were only two of them, and Dirk tilted his head at the sign, trying to figure out which one of them might be the izakaya that they were looking for.

“Maybe we should try the one on the fourth floor first?” asked Todd. “That’s the next one above the McDonald’s,” he said with a shrug. Dirk nodded, and when they got in the elevator he pressed the button for the fourth floor. However, the button would not light up. Furrowing his brow in confusion, Dirk then pressed the button for the fifth floor, which lit up in earnest at his touch. They shrugged at each other as the doors closed and the lift began rising. 

When they reached the fifth floor, the lift doors opened and they were met with a small establishment that had the decor of a rather chic cave. 

“何名様ですか?” asked a waiter as soon as they had stepped out of the lift. 

“What?” asked Todd, his eyebrows coming closer together as he tried to figure out what the waiter was asking of them.

“How many people?” asked the waiter.

“Two,” said Todd, holding up two fingers.

“はい、どうぞ,” said the waiter, gesturing to a vacant table to Todd’s right. Dirk and Todd went to sit down at the table as the waiter handed them a laminated piece of paper that was written in English.

“Shit, we can get all you can drink for like, two hours for pretty cheap,” Todd said, his eyes moving over the paper in front of him.

“Let’s do it,” said Dirk with a grin.

“You sure?” Todd asked. “They don’t have, like, cocktails here. It’s an open bar, and it looks like you’ve got to make the drinks yourself.”

“I have a good feeling about this, Todd.”

Todd nodded, grinning at Dirk.

“Right on. You know, I don’t think we’ve ever really gotten drunk together.”

“Oh, we’ve absolutely got to change that,” Dirk said, returning Todd’s grin.

They ordered all you can drink for two hours and were each given a glass with a handle on the side. They shared an excited glance before getting up and going over to where the establishment had laid out an open bar. The left side of the counter had a strange contraption that had a button with a picture of beer on it. In the middle of the counter was a faucet that read “ハイボール,” and next to it was another faucet that read, “水.” Surrounding the two faucets on either side were various fruit flavorings. And, perhaps most interesting to the two detectives, above the bar was an assortment of bottles of Japanese liquor, hanging upside down, with taps from which one could pour themselves a drink. Dirk immediately went for the fancy Japanese drinks, while Todd went for the mystery faucets. He tried the one on the right first, and it poured a clear liquid into his glass. Hesitantly, he brought the glass up to his mouth to take a sip.

“This one’s just water,” he relayed to Dirk, pouring out the rest of the water into the sink on his right so that he could get some alcohol instead. He tried the other faucet, and was met with a fizzy golden liquid. He looked up after he was done obtaining the drink and saw that Dirk was squirting orange flavoring into a glass of otherwise clear alcohol he had gotten from one of the bottles up top.

Satisfied with their findings, the two brought their drinks back to their table. Dirk tasted his first, and smiled. 

“What did you get?” asked Todd.

“I’ve got no idea but it’s nice!” said Dirk. “And very alcoholic. This is going to be fun. What did you get?” 

Todd took a sip of his and frowned slightly, though not in distaste.

“It tastes like… whiskey soda?”

“Is it good?”

“It’s not bad,” Todd replied with a shrug. “Might put some flavoring in it next time, though.”

 

Several drinks each later, Dirk had shed his jacket, which he had then put on a hanger behind Todd, who had then fidgeted so much that it had fallen off of the hanger and onto his shoulders. Dirk had just started giggling incessantly when this had happened, and Todd, loving to see Dirk laugh, had grinned goofily and kept the jacket on. Yellow was by no means his color, but he would wear anything if he could keep hearing Dirk laugh. 

After a while, Todd glanced briefly at his phone and groaned.

“Ah shit,” he said. “We gotta ask for the check, we’re just about out of time.”

Dirk pouted at this.

“But wanna drink more…”

“Maybe we can get more drinks to bring back to the hotel?” Todd suggested.

“You’re amazing, Todd,” Dirk said, grinning at Todd with a positively lovestruck expression that caused Todd’s cheeks to burn and his heart to swell.

They received the check from the waiter and went up to the cash register to pay. Once Dirk had handed the cashier the money and gotten change back, the cashier handed him a small piece of paper, presumably a receipt, which Dirk slipped into the left breast pocket of his jacket. Then, Dirk and Todd stumbled back out into the streets of Shibuya and started heading back to their hotel, arm in arm, laughing at every little thing the other would say. 

 

The idea to get more drinks to bring back to the hotel having completely slipped both of their minds, Dirk and Todd arrived back at Hotel XO not too long after, having been engaged in a rather distracting conversation about whether or not pumpkins identified as pumps. The conversation died as they made their way back to their room, both of them trying to remember what room number they were. Dirk managed to lead them to the right one, and the two of them giggled as they stumbled in. It took Dirk a moment or so to find the light, which caused him to stop in his tracks to feel along the wall, which led to Todd running right into him. Dirk tripped over his own feet when this happened and fell to the ground in front of him (though managing to hit the light switch along the way, so at least the room wasn’t pitch black anymore). Todd merely stood there and laughed at Dirk for a minute as Dirk regained his bearings on the floor.

“Here,” Todd said, amused, holding out a hand to help Dirk up. Dirk took Todd’s hand and stood up, but did so a little too quickly, causing him to stumble closer into Todd. 

“Hi,” Todd said, quietly, smiling at Dirk, whose face was now mere inches from Todd’s own.

“Hi,” said Dirk with a giggle.

“Can I... try something?” Todd asked, and Dirk could feel his breath ghost across his lips. 

“Okay,” Dirk answered, confused but excited. 

“Close your eyes,” said Todd, and Dirk immediately obliged. The next thing he knew, there was a pair of soft lips upon his own. He gasped through his nose as he figured out what was happening, and at once he wrapped his arms around Todd and kissed back with gusto. In his excitement, he backed Todd up into the wall, never breaking the kiss. Todd’s hands were in his hair and  _ oh god how he loved it when people touched his hair. _ He ran his hands over Todd’s T-shirt, suddenly annoyed at the fabric for being in his way. He slipped his hands under Todd’s shirt instead, causing Todd to let out a small sigh as he ran his hands over his assistant’s wonderful chest. 

“Mm, too many layers,” Todd mumbled into the kiss, and suddenly his hands were loosening Dirk’s tie. Dirk shed his jacket and tossed it onto the floor as Todd began leading him by his tie over to the bed. They reached the foot of the bed and Todd pulled Dirk in for more kissing, his tongue finding its way into Dirk’s mouth. Dirk let out a small noise of contentment as he felt Todd undoing his tie the rest of the way before moving on to his shirt buttons. Dirk had never before been so vexed by all the layers he wore all the time. Honestly, who needed  _ three layers,  _ in  _ October,  _ in  _ Tokyo _ ? There was no weather-related cause for this, only Dirk’s ridiculous fashion sense, which was now proving to be rather inconvenient indeed. 

Once Dirk’s dress shirt and tie were on the floor, the two pulled apart and rested their foreheads against each other, both panting slightly.

“Dirk,” said Todd, breathlessly. “I’ve been wanting to do this for so long.”

“Me too,” Dirk said, letting out a euphoric giggle. He slipped his hands back under Todd’s shirt. “I just want to touch you…” Todd grinned and decided to make things easier for Dirk by taking his shirt off. Dirk smiled and ran his hands freely over Todd’s chest, admiring the bare view which he now had. Meanwhile Todd’s hands played with the hem of Dirk’s undershirt.

“Can I?” he asked.

“I dunno,  _ can  _ you?” Dirk giggled at his own joke as Todd rolled his eyes. Dirk nodded and Todd began lifting Dirk’s shirt over his head. Once it was gone, Todd traced his fingers along the vivisection scars on Dirk’s stomach, causing Dirk to shudder slightly and look away.

“Hey…” Todd reached up to cup Dirk’s face in both of his hands. As Dirk looked him in the eyes, Todd smiled. “You’re beautiful…”

Hit by a surge of love for Todd, Dirk kissed him again, enthusiastically. He pulled back after a moment, only to push Todd back on the bed before climbing on top of him. He saw Todd’s pupils dilate slightly right before he kissed him again, fiercely. His hands were in Todd’s hair as Todd’s hands roamed over his back and Dirk had never felt so alive. Dirk let out a moan when Todd’s hands traveled down to his bum and squeezed over his trousers, and he had a sudden flashback to a police station filled with glitter and glow sticks, where he couldn’t remember but he had the feeling that he and Todd may have done something very similar to this. It was when Todd’s hands traveled to his front, however, that Dirk pulled away. 

“Wait,” he said, looking at Todd with wide, apprehensive eyes. Todd immediately retracted his hands and put them back up on Dirk’s shoulders.

“Shit, sorry,” Todd said, his big blue eyes searching Dirk’s face, worriedly. “I was getting carried away, I--”

“No, it’s fine,” said Dirk. “Just… maybe not yet…” Todd nodded and Dirk laid down on the bed beside him. Todd leaned up on his elbow to look at Dirk. He opened his mouth, probably to apologize again, when Dirk decided that he didn’t need to hear it. Instead, he pulled Todd on top of him, bringing his face down to kiss him once more. Todd kissed back sweetly, one of his hands coming up to caress the side of Dirk’s face.

“Thank you, Todd,” Dirk said, looking up at Todd with a small smile.

“For what?” Todd asked, his hand still on Dirk’s cheek.

_ For everything. _

“You know… for buying me drinks, and things,” Dirk said.

“Dirk, you were the one who paid for the drinks tonight,” Todd reminded him.

“Oh yeah.” Dirk giggled and Todd yawned, causing Dirk to subsequently yawn as well. Dirk held Todd on top of him, and Todd nuzzled his face into Dirk’s shoulder.

“Gnight, Dirk,” Todd mumbled. “Love you…” 

The last part was barely audible, but it brought tears to Dirk’s eyes all the same.

“Love you too,” Dirk whispered, but by that time, Todd was already asleep.

 

When Todd opened his eyes, he was cold. The space next to him on the bed was empty, and he could hear nothing. He quickly sat up in his worry, but this proved to be quite the mistake, as he was suddenly hit with a searing pain in his head.

“Shit,” he seethed, clutching his head. He looked over to see Dirk, already dressed and sitting on the couch, watching him apprehensively. They locked eyes, and Todd remembered. 

“So,” said Todd, his eyes never leaving Dirk’s. “That happened.” 

“It… did,” Dirk replied, fidgeting with his hands. Todd frowned at how uncomfortable he looked. He hoped he hadn’t fucked up too badly with his actions the previous night. Dirk had seemed so enthusiastic, but then again, they had both been quite drunk. 

“H-hey,” Todd said hastily, hoping to patch up his breach in judgement. “We’re still best friends, though, right?” He gave Dirk a hopeful smile. 

Dirk’s expression became melancholy for a second before he composed himself and gave Todd a small smile.

“Of course,” he said. “You won’t get rid of me that easily.” 

“So we’re cool?” Todd asked. 

“Totally,” Dirk replied, though Todd couldn’t help but think that his best friend might be hiding his true feelings, which only made Todd feel worse. His drunkenness had lowered his inhibitions to the point of almost ruining his friendship with Dirk; the friendship which had become more important to him than almost anything else in his life. If Dirk really wasn’t okay with what they had done, and was just trying to hide it, it would just be another thing on Todd’s list of things was guilty about doing to people he cared about.

“I found something, by the way,” Dirk said, getting off the couch and walking over to Todd. “Last night, at the izakaya, the cashier gave me a piece of paper. I thought it was a receipt, but look at this.” He handed Todd a small slip of paper. Todd looked at it and his eyes widened. 

‘ _ A staple of the Windy City, in the town where clothes are pretty.’ _

“Another riddle!” Todd exclaimed, looking back up at Dirk, who grinned.

“I’ve been up for about an hour, trying to figure out what it means.”

“Well the ‘Windy City’ usually refers to Chicago,” said Todd.

“Right. And the ‘place where clothes are pretty?’ I think it’s Harajuku,” said Dirk. “I looked it up and it’s the fashion district in Tokyo. And Gwynn Armani always sings about it.”

“Who?” Todd asked, furrowing his brow.

“You know, the one who does the song!”

“What song?” 

And to Todd’s endless amusement, Dirk began singing. … Or something.

“I ain’t no hollaback girl! I ain’t no hollaback girl!” Dirk sang. “It’s bananas, Todd.”

“Gwen Stefani?” Todd asked, barely containing his laughter.

“Whatever keeps you sane.”

Todd shook his head, laughing.

“I guess we gotta go to Harajuku, then?” he said. “And try to find anything connecting to Chicago.” 

All in all, this task did not prove to take very long, nor be very difficult.

The most direct way to get to Harajuku from their hotel was by taking the Fukutoshin line to Meiji-jingumae station, which by itself took only about fifteen minutes. Upon arriving at the station, Dirk led them up to one of the exits, which brought them out across the street from where Dirk had a hunch they needed to be. Todd, ever trusting these hunches of Dirk’s, followed him across the street when the crosswalk signal turned green. Upon reaching the other side, Dirk began looking in both directions on the sidewalk, trying to figure out where they needed to go next. Todd, meanwhile, looked up at the shops that were right in front of them.

“Hey wait a minute…” He nudged Dirk. “Dirk, look.” There, right in front of them, was a shop called ‘Garrett’s Popcorn.’ Underneath the shop name was the phrase ‘A Chicago Tradition.’

Dirk and Todd looked at each other, Dirk’s face betraying excitement. 

“Does this mean we get to eat popcorn?” he asked with a grin. Todd shrugged.

“I guess so,” he said with a small chuckle.

“What size should we get?” Dirk asked as they walked into the shop.

“Just a small, probably,” said Todd. “I’m not that hungry.”

“いらっしゃいませ," said the cashier as they approached.

“Hi,” said Dirk, cheerily. “Could we get, er, the Chicago mix popcorn, please?”

“これですか？" the cashier asked, pointing at a picture of the Chicago mix on a small menu that was placed in front of Dirk on the counter.

“Yes, that one,” said Dirk.

“何サイズですか？”

“Saizu?” Dirk repeated, confused. “Oh, size! Right. Er, small, please.”

“スモールサイズ?”

“Yes. Er, smooru saizu,” he repeated again. He smiled at the cashier, who smiled back before going to get them their popcorn.

Once the popcorn had been paid for, Dirk and Todd left the shop to go sit down outside to eat it. Todd had researched that it was rude to eat and walk at the same time in Japan, so he had insisted that they just sit down for a while. 

They had been munching for a few minutes (well, mostly Dirk, with Todd occasionally sneaking handfuls for himself), when Dirk let out a noise of surprise.

“What is it?” asked Todd, looking over at him in alarm.

“Look!” exclaimed Dirk. “At the bottom of the popcorn bucket!”

Todd peered inside the bucket to see small writing at the bottom of it.

‘ _ When angels fly in lace and frills, you are sure in for some thrills!’ _

“Hey, wait a second,” said Todd, after reading. He looked up at Dirk, who was staring at him in confusion. “The store Lydia wants us to go to is called ‘Angelic Pretty.’ I bet that’s the place! Everything is connected!”

“Brilliant detecting, Todd!” said Dirk with a grin. “And Lydia even said it would be in Harajuku, and we’re already here!”

“Finish your popcorn, Dirk,” said Todd, a determined glint in his eyes. “We’ve got some exploring to do.”


	4. Tension Isn't The Only Thicc Thing Around Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lolita fashion shop owners simply do not know what to make of this odd duo. Later, things get a bit... steamy.

Dirk and Todd had ended up wandering onto a street called Takeshita Street, a pedestrian street that seemed to be _the_ place to go in Harajuku. It was definitely the most crowded place they had been to so far (besides the train, that is), what with tourists and fashionistas walking every which way down the brightly colored road filled with obnoxious shops.

They had been walking along for a while, both simply ogling all the odd shops, when Todd suddenly heard Dirk let out an excited gasp.

“Todd, look at _that_ !” Dirk pointed excitedly ahead of them at a shop to their right, which was from top to bottom completely covered in rainbows. And right inside the shop, were several people munching on positively gigantic _rainbow_ cotton candy. All bunched together neatly on one little stick, the cotton candy was made up of various colors stacked precisely on top of each other, with blue being at the bottom, followed by green, yellow, purple, and finally pink at the top. The whole thing was about the size of Todd’s entire torso.

“Great,” said Todd, rolling his eyes. “Now that we’ve seen it, you have to get it, right?”

“Oh Todd, please, can we, please?” Dirk asked hopefully, his eyes still hungrily trained on the cotton candy. Todd sighed. He still felt guilty about what he had done last night.

“Come on, then,” he said. Dirk’s grin as they began making their way over to the cotton candy place was absolutely priceless, and Todd would have gotten him anything to make him grin like that, even if it weren’t for his guilt.

The giant cotton candy was on the second floor of the Totti Candy Company shop, so the two of them made their way upstairs.

“One, please,” said Todd, holding up a finger after they had approached the cashier.

“はい、ちょっと待ってください," said the cashier with a smile before going to make the cotton candy. Todd smiled at Dirk, who was bouncing in excitement as he watched their cotton candy being made. Todd almost forgot to pay because he was so busy watching Dirk’s amazing facial expressions as he received his gargantuan cotton candy from the cashier.

Once they had paid, they went back downstairs to where there was a small space set aside where people could eat. Dirk began with the bottom blue part, taking off one piece at a time and shoving them into his mouth blissfully. Todd merely leaned against the wall, watching him lovingly. Suddenly, Dirk shoved the giant thing into his face.

“Todd, try some!” he said, gleefully. Todd raised his eyebrows at Dirk with a disbelieving smile.

“Seriously?”

“Todd, you really expect me to eat this all by myself?”

“Umm… yes?”

Dirk frowned at him as Todd laughed.

“Fine,” Todd conceded, reaching up to take a piece of green cotton candy. Dirk smiled at him as he ate, and Todd tried in vain not to blush.

 

It took a little while for the two of them to finish off the cotton candy, due to its ridiculous size, but they eventually managed it and subsequently continued their way down the busy street. After a few minutes walking, they both stopped in their tracks, looking at the shops on their left.

“Let’s go in there!” they both said, each pointing at different shops that were right next to each other.

The shop Todd was pointing at had a small stairway leading down to it, either side of which was covered in leather jackets and rock paraphernalia. The shop Dirk was pointing at had so obnoxiously bright, colorful, and sparkly outfits that it would put any Vegas performance to shame.

Dirk and Todd looked at each other for a moment, Todd with his eyebrows raised, and Dirk with his lips pursed into a pout.

“Dirk, come on,” said Todd, gesturing to the rock store. “Look at all the cool rock stuff.”

Dirk looked back at the sparkly store, then back at Todd, his face still in a pout. Todd sighed.

“We can go to your store after?” Todd suggested. Dirk thought about it for a moment before shrugging and nodding. Todd smiled gratefully at him before the two of them descended the stairs into expensive punk heaven.

Todd was immediately at home amongst the leather and spikes, but Dirk, though he was wearing leather, felt admittedly out of place. He glanced around at all the black, thinking about how good all of this stuff would look on Todd. He had only ever seen one picture of Todd from his Mexican Funeral days, and he had had to get Amanda to show it to him, because Todd was too embarrassed. He wished he could see Todd in person, with eyeliner and skinny jeans and a worn out leather jacket.

“Oh my god, this is hilarious,” Dirk heard Todd say from further into the shop.

“What is it?” Dirk asked, going over to see what Todd was talking about. Todd held up a small box of action figures which said on the front ‘Sex Pistols Collectible Action Figures.’ “Sex Pistols,” said Dirk with a frown. “And that’s… a band?”

“Yeah,” said Todd with a grin. “They’re pretty awesome. I’ve never seen toys of them before.” He chuckled before putting the box back down. Dirk turned around to look at the rest of the store and gasped in excitement. Tucked in a corner was a completely different store, one which was bright pink and covered with colorful, differently shaped stress toys. Todd looked around to see what Dirk had gasped at and chuckled.

“Damn,” he said, as the two of them walked over to examine the shop. Dirk lightly poked one of the stress toys and grinned at how squishy it was. “Anyways,” said Todd. “The rock store is pretty cool, but it’s really expensive. I think I’m done here. Wanna head to that sparkly place?”

“Do I ever?” replied Dirk, excitedly. The two of them climbed back up the stairs and out of the shop, only to go over to the obnoxious shop next door. The front display had a mannequin wearing a sparkly samurai-esque outfit, something that would not have looked out of place in a _Takarazuka_ play. Dirk grinned and Todd sighed as they walked inside.

“Woah,” said Todd as they stepped into the glitterful store. “This place really just assaults your eyeballs, doesn’t it?”

“It’s fantastic,” said Dirk, his eyes roaming around the sequined outfits.

They had been wading through the store for a couple of minutes when Dirk gasped again, having laid his eyes on a rainbow tie that glittered with differently colored jewels.

“Todd!” he exclaimed, holding up the tie. “This would go with every jacket I own!”

“Wow, uhh…” Todd’s eyes widened at the garish sight of the tie. “It… it sure would.” He offered what Dirk recognized to be a falsely supportive smile. Dirk smiled back at him for trying before putting the tie back where he had found it.

“Unfortunately, it’s a bit pricey. Otherwise…” He smirked at the thought of wearing that tie out wherever he went.

“Come on,” said Todd with a chuckle. “We’ve still got that Angelic Pretty store to find. This isn’t supposed to be a vacation”

Dirk pouted a bit at this, thinking that he would absolutely love to just go on a shopping vacation with Todd. He would even go into all the scary rock stores Todd wanted. Still, he supposed, the case must go on.

 

It turned out that the Angelic Pretty store was not on Takeshita street. After coming up on the end of the street, Dirk and Todd had turned right onto a more busy road. After walking a few minutes, Dirk had a hunch that led them into a small fashion mall and down a couple of floors where they were immediately met with, as mentioned in the riddle, lots and lots of lace and frills.

“You think this might be the place?” Todd asked Dirk, who shrugged.

“One way to find out,” Dirk replied. The two of them walked further into the shopping area to find a bunch of little stores that all seemed to be centered around the same style of clothing: frilly Victorian-esque things with lace and short petticoats.

“Aha!” Dirk said suddenly, pointing ahead of them at a rather pink store with a sign in front of it that read ‘Angelic Pretty.’ They entered the store and nodded at the workers who greeted them before going over to gape at all the clothes.

“I… kind of want to try them on,” Dirk said with a giggle as he examined a yellow dress with pink and blue castle patterns at the bottom.

“We’re supposed to be buying something for Lydia,” Todd reminded him. “You’re too big to try on something for her.”

“Hmmm… you’re right,” said Dirk. “You should try on something, then. You’re the perfect size.” Todd closed his eyes in defeat as Dirk hit him with a shit-eating grin. He had walked right into that one, hadn’t he… “Oh, Todd! Try on this one!” Dirk held up a pretty, light blue dress with small mermaids patterned on it. Todd looked at the dress, then slowly up at Dirk.

“Seriously?”

“Well, we’ve got to know if it’ll fit Lydia.”

“I think I’m a little bit bigger than her, though…”

“Well, whatever dress fits you, we’ll just buy one that’s one size smaller!”

Todd raised his eyebrows at Dirk before looking back at the dress. He considered it for a moment before looking back up at Dirk, who was smiling at him hopefully. Finally, he sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Fine,” he conceded.

“Excellent!” Dirk said, handing Todd the dress. “This one looks like it will fit you, I think.”

“Great…”

Todd, his cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment, took the dress up to the sales associate, who smiled at him as he approached.

“Uh, can I, uh, try this on?” Todd asked, holding the dress up and pointing at the small fitting room. Todd didn’t miss the way the associate’s eyebrows raised to the ceiling at his request.

“あ、はい！" she said after a moment, covering her confusion with a warm smile and gesturing over to the fitting room. “どうぞ。"

“Thanks,” Todd muttered, his cheeks reddening even more as he walked over to the fitting room, Dirk following close behind him. Before he went in, he turned to glance back at Dirk, who gave him a supportive thumbs up. Todd rolled his eyes before going into the fitting room and closing the curtain.

Once inside and alone, he looked at the dress in his hands, feeling the fabric. It felt soft, light. He hung it up and began undressing, trying not to think about what the sales associate probably thought of him.

After he had undressed, he unzipped the dress and slipped it on. It fit him surprisingly easily. He supposed Dirk probably had a hunch to pick out this one. He put the dress on over his shoulders before reaching behind himself to zip himself up, to find that he could only zip up part of the way before he was no longer able to reach. He sighed, his face reddening even more.

“Hey, Dirk?” he called through the curtain. “Could you come in here and zip me up?”

Dirk, hearing Todd’s request, slipped into the tiny fitting room and closed the curtain again behind him. He did a sharp intake of breath when he saw Todd, who was facing away from him so he could zip him up. There wasn’t a better word for it: Todd looked elegant. The skirt fell neatly to his knees and it framed him perfectly in the middle. Dirk swallowed nervously, his face reddening, as he stepped closer to Todd. He took hold of the zipper at Todd’s waist and zipped up the dress. He went slowly, noticing the way Todd’s breath hitched and he couldn’t help but wonder… Heart pounding, he steadily dragged the zipper up the dress tooth by tooth, his eyes never leaving the bit of skin showing on Todd’s back. He didn’t move away after he had finished, and Todd turned around to face him.

“Thanks,” Todd said, with a small, embarrassed smile.

“You’re welcome,” said Dirk, quietly. His eyes roamed down Todd’s figure, taking in the sight. The top of the dress sat gracefully on Todd’s shoulders. The bow in the middle was in perfect alignment with Todd’s waist.

“I feel kinda stupid,” Todd said with a nervous chuckle, looking away.

“You look… wonderful, Todd,” said Dirk, his throat feeling kind of dry. To try and ease some of the tension, he patted Todd supportively on the shoulder.

“Thanks,” Todd replied, smiling. “I think this one fits pretty well.”

“Definitely,” said Dirk. They locked eyes for a moment before Dirk stepped away, clearing his throat. “Right. I’ll go pick out the smaller size for Lydia, then.”

“Right, yeah,” said Todd.

“Great!” Dirk forced a grin as he exited the fitting room, leaving Todd to change back into his normal clothes. He went to pick out a dress one size smaller than the one Todd was wearing, and once he had, he brought it over to the cashier, trying desperately to rid his mind of the image of Todd in that very dress, lest it cause him to be wholly distracted.

Todd stepped out of the fitting room just as Dirk was done paying, and walked over to him. Dirk took the bag with the dress from the cashier and smiled at Todd before his smile suddenly turned into a curious little frown. Having a hunch, he looked in the bag, to see the tag sitting on top of the dress inside. However, the tag had neither a price, nor a size written on it.

“Todd, look!” he exclaimed. Todd peered into the bag and together they read the words written on the tag.

‘ _When dancing atoms party hot, you’ll take a kamikaze shot.’_

“Looks like we’re gonna get drunk again,” Todd commented. They looked up at each other, twin blushes adorning their slightly apprehensive faces.

 

It had taken a lot of googling various combinations of words within the riddle for Todd and Dirk to figure out where they needed to go, but eventually, after searching the words ‘atom tokyo,’ they discovered a night club in Shibuya called Atom that did, in fact, serve kamikaze shots. Besides, as soon as the result for the club came up on Google, Dirk had pointed at it and exclaimed that it was the right place to go. After all, Dirk’s hunches were never really wrong.

So, that night, the two of them found themselves inside Atom Tokyo, a popular nightclub where every floor housed a different genre of music. Once inside, Dirk and Todd had gotten a locker in which to put their jackets before heading out to the dance floor.

Dirk bobbed his head to the Taylor Swift music that was playing on the first floor. He grinned as he saw two drag queens dancing near the front. He appreciated the fact that even though it wasn’t a gay club, there were still drag queens anyway. And to be frank, in Dirk’s opinion, a club without drag queens wasn’t much of a club at all, really.

Todd led them over to the bar where, as per the riddle, he ordered them each a kamikaze. The drinks came quickly enough, and Dirk sniffed his suspiciously before taking a sip.

“This is actually rather good,” he commented before taking another sip as Todd downed his all in one go. After Dirk had finished his drink, Todd tugged on his arm.

“Come on, let’s go to a different floor.”

Dirk pouted slightly at this. He rather enjoyed the music on this floor, but he followed Todd to the lift anyway.

The next floor above them had electronic dance music, which neither of them were too fond of, but they stopped to grab more drinks and dance a little anyways. After finishing those, they headed to the next floor, where they were playing dubstep. Again, not either of their favorite, but now that they had had two kamikazes, all they wanted was more. So, they each had another one on this floor and danced until they finished it before moving up to the next.

“Oh, I like this one,” Todd said with a grin as they exited the lift on the last floor. This floor seemed to be playing chill hip hop, which Dirk admittedly also liked better than the previous two floors (though his favorite was still the first floor).

This floor had fewer people, and there were small tables all around the room where people could set their drinks while they danced to the music. Dirk went to go claim a table while Todd went to the bar to buy them more drinks.

“I think after this one, I’ll be definitely drunk,” Todd said, grinning tipsily as he brought the drinks back over to Dirk.

“Oh, me too,” said Dirk. “Proper drunk.” He grinned back at Todd as he took his drink and even went so far as to wink at him before he drank it. Todd giggled at Dirk’s wink before downing his own drink as well.

“Yup,” said Todd, setting his cup down. “Definitely feeling it.” Dirk giggled, setting his cup down as well.

“This is fun,” said Dirk, looking around. “I like clubs.”

“Wanna stay on this floor for a little while?” Todd asked. Dirk nodded, swaying along to the music. Todd came up next to him to dance as well, causing Dirk to smile.

They danced together for a while, slowly coming closer and closer together as they did so. With every inch that they came closer together, Dirk’s smile widened. All he wanted to do was reach out and hold onto Todd, but he had the feeling that he should wait.

“When can we go back down to the first floor?” asked Dirk after quite some time dancing. “I liked that floor.”

“We can go now, if you want,” Todd said with a shrug. Dirk grinned and nodded, taking Todd’s hand and leading him back to the lift.

They held hands all the way back down to the first floor, only letting go as they exited the lift and Dirk, hearing Britney Spears music playing, bounded excitedly onto the dance floor.

He was dancing sort of off to the side when the two drag queens he had seen from before came over to him. With broad smiles plastered on their faces, one of them took gentle hold of Dirk’s arm and led him towards the front so he could dance with them. Dirk, his mind fuzzy from all the alcohol, followed them eagerly, excited to dance with some drag queens. He had only been dancing with them for a little bit, however, when his arm was grabbed again and he was pulled slightly away.

“Hey!” he heard the person who had grabbed him shout. “I wanna dance with him!” The voice sounded angry and jealous, but what surprised Dirk the most was that it was clearly _Todd._ Was Todd jealous that he had been dancing with the drag queens? He turned to look at his best friend, who was still glaring at the queens, who in turn were looking back at him with amusement. To satisfy his friend’s jealousy, and because he would honestly rather be dancing with Todd anyways, Dirk put his hands on Todd’s shoulders and began dancing with him. Smiling smugly, Todd put his hands on Dirk’s waist and danced as well.

They danced like that for a while, both having fun with eyes only for each other, before Todd leaned up to talk in Dirk’s ear.

“Do you want to get out of here?” he asked.

“Sure,” Dirk replied, figuring that they had had a good run at the club, but he was sort of tired of it and would rather go relax back in the hotel room with Todd. Todd smiled at him before taking his hand to lead him back to the lockers.

When they opened their locker, however, it wasn’t just their jackets that they found. As the door to the locker opened, a small piece of paper fell from it onto the ground, where Dirk immediately stooped down to pick it up. Upon lifting it up closer to his face, he could see writing on it.

‘ _Cafe near the famed otera, you must befriend the capybara.’_

“Aha!” exclaimed Dirk. “The next riddle!” Todd grabbed the paper from him and read it for himself before smiling.

“I guess I know what we’re doing tomorrow,” he said.

“But not what we’re doing tonight,” said Dirk, before he could stop himself. He smirked at Todd, whose eyebrows shot up on his forehead.

“Well,” said Todd, a bit hesitantly, stepping slightly closer to Dirk. “I… I think I have some ideas.” Dirk bit his lip, his heart beating fast. He quickly put his jacket back on and Todd did the same before they left to go back to their hotel.

 

They didn’t talk much on the train on the way back, though with it being the last train and all, the crowd had them fairly smushed together. They didn’t need to say anything, however. With alcohol clouding both of their minds, neither of them were thinking about the awkwardness they had awoken to this morning. Instead, both of their minds seemed to be on what they had done the previous night, and how much they would both like to do it again.

Todd was pressed up against Dirk’s back on the train, and Dirk shuddered slightly and smiled when he felt Todd’s hand come up to caress his side. After what they had implied as they had been about to leave the club, there seemed to be some sort of unspoken agreement between the two of them that whatever had happened the night before was about to happen again. And Dirk couldn’t be any more pleased.

He had been quite put out that morning when Todd had insisted that they were “friends,” even after they had very enthusiastically made out the night before, and even had fallen asleep cuddling each other, _shirtless._ Dirk had figured that maybe Todd had made a mistake, and he just wasn’t that into him.

Now, however, as Todd’s hands ran up and down Dirk’s sides underneath his jacket, it seemed to Dirk that he was singing a different tune. And, if Dirk recalled, it had been Todd who had kissed him first the previous night, not the other way around.

They eagerly got off when the train reached Shinjuku-Sanchome station, and Dirk was very happy indeed when Todd put his arm around his waist and kept it there as they walked back to the hotel.

When they got back to their room Todd turned on the light, Dirk closed the door behind them, and finally they turned back to face each other.

“Listen, Todd,” said Dirk, stepping closer to the other man. “I know we’re both properly pissed right now, but… I just really want to kiss you.”

“Then what are you waiting for,” said Todd, his eyes hovering on Dirk’s lips. And before Dirk could even do anything, Todd had grabbed Dirk’s collar and forcefully pulled him into a kiss.

Dirk’s heart soared just as much as it had when this had happened the previous night, and he immediately wrapped his arms around Todd, kissing back fervently.

He ran his hands over Todd’s back as Todd, apparently feeling a bit bold, moved his hands down to squeeze Dirk’s bum. Dirk moaned into the kiss. He didn’t need a hunch to know that this night was sure to be a wild one. Suddenly, however, he was hit with a very worrying realization.

 

Todd, for his part, was throwing any inhibitions he had from this morning out the window. His confidence (as well as maybe something else) grew at the sound Dirk had made when he had squeezed his ass, so he kept massaging the area as his tongue explored Dirk’s mouth. Suddenly, however, Dirk pulled away.

“Todd, I made a mistake!” he cried.

“What is it?” asked Todd, feeling scared. Was Dirk going to break this off now?

“I wore too many layers again!” Dirk looked truly sad at this fact. Todd merely chuckled.

“I guess we’re just gonna have to take some off, then,” he said, feeling relieved, and tugging at Dirk’s tie. He saw Dirk glance around for a moment before gasping.

“Todd, I have an idea!”

“Yeah?” Todd’s excitement grew when Dirk shot him with a positively mischievous grin.

“I want to get in the jacuzzi,” he said. Todd’s smile faltered. He knew Dirk loved the jacuzzi, but he was disappointed that Dirk would rather get back in the jacuzzi than continue making out with him.

“Oh, okay,” said Todd, untangling himself from Dirk and stepping away from him.

“What’s wrong?” asked Dirk, apparently worried by Todd’s expression.

“Nothing,” said Todd, shaking his head. “You go have fun in the jacuzzi.” He forced a smile.

“But…” said Dirk, tilting his head to the side in confusion. “Aren’t you coming with me?”

“Like I said before, I didn’t bring a swimsuit.”

“So?” Dirk raised an eyebrow, and suddenly Todd was 100% on board with the jacuzzi idea.

Giggling, the two of them rushed to the bathroom, each shedding their jackets, shoes, and socks along the way. Once in the bathroom, Todd pulled Dirk to him with a smile and began undoing his belt.

“It might be faster if we just take our clothes off ourselves,” Dirk said, though he was smiling at how enthusiastic Todd was.

“True,” Todd figured with a shrug, before stepping away from Dirk and taking off his own shirt. Dirk, even with all of his layers, undressed quicker than Todd and stepped into the jacuzzi. After Dirk had sat down, he eyed Todd with interest while he finished undressing. Todd followed Dirk’s eyes as they roamed down his body, and it seemed that just the power of Dirk’s gaze upon it alone made his cock twitch. “Like what you see?” Todd teased.

Dirk’s face turned scarlet and he looked away, though failing to hide a smile. Todd got into the jacuzzi and sat down beside him. As Dirk was still not looking at him, seemingly out of embarrassment, Todd put a comforting hand on his thigh, under the water. “Hey,” he said, causing Dirk’s head to finally turn back to him. “I only want to do whatever you’re okay with,” he said, smiling softly.

“Can…” Dirk swallowed nervously, seemingly steeling himself for whatever he was about to ask. “Can I touch you, Todd?” he asked quietly, gazing into Todd’s eyes.

Todd’s throat was suddenly very dry. He nodded, and Dirk smiled before reaching over with his left hand to lightly settle itself on Todd’s cock, his right hand holding Todd’s hand as it rested on his thigh. Todd gave a sharp intake of breath as Dirk touched him.

“Mmh, Dirk,” he said, closing his eyes briefly. His breath stuttered as Dirk began moving his hand slowly, and he moved the hand that was on Dirk’s thigh so their fingers were entangled.

“Can I try something else, Todd?” Dirk asked, softly.

“Anything,” Todd said with a smile, opening his eyes to look at Dirk, who smiled back before moving to kneel in front of him.

Taking a deep breath, Dirk ducked his head underwater.

Todd furrowed his brow in confusion, wondering what Dirk was trying to do, when Dirk suddenly came back up, spluttering water.

“What did you try to do?” Todd asked, very confused.

“I…” Dirk’s cheeks colored. “I wanted to give you a blowjob.”

Todd was silent for a couple of seconds before he burst out laughing.

“Dirk,” he said, through tears of laughter. “Dirk, babe.” He reached out and pulled Dirk in so he was sitting on top of him, his legs straddling Todd’s waist. “Dirk, you can’t give blowjobs underwater, it won’t work.” Todd was still chuckling as Dirk pouted at him, bringing his hands up to rest on Todd’s shoulders.

“You don’t think I bloody know that _now_?” he asked, indignantly. Todd shook his head in amusement before pulling Dirk down for another kiss. Dirk’s fingers tangled in Todd’s hair almost instantly. Todd had one of his hands on Dirk’s waist, but the other one was on his abdomen, hovering dangerously close to his cock.

“Dirk,” he said, pulling away for a moment. “Can I touch you?”

“Yes, please,” Dirk said breathlessly, before leaning down for more kissing.

Todd’s hand on Dirk’s abdomen moved to wrap around his cock, earning Todd a moan from the other man. Todd stroked it lightly a few times, eliciting small gasps from Dirk, before he suddenly realized something. Furrowing his brow, he pulled away from the kiss, his hand still resting on Dirk’s cock.

“Hang on… Dirk, are you Jewish?”

Dirk just looked at him blankly for a moment or two before he suddenly gasped.

“Oh bloody hell, I _am_ Jewish!”

Todd gaped at him.

“Did you just forget that you were Jewish?” he asked, astonished that he had never known this about his friend.

“Well it’s not like I really do anything about it,” Dirk defended himself. “It’s just sort of… a thing!”

“At least my mom will be happy,” Todd said with a shrug. “And you can come over for Hanukkah. I’m sure she’d love to have you.” Dirk grinned and kissed Todd again.

“That sounds lovely, Todd.” He hummed. “I haven’t thought about that part of me in a long time…” He smiled fondly, until Todd moved his hand and made him moan. “Oh, _Todd…_ ” He bucked his hips into Todd’s hand a bit, and Todd used his free hand to pull him down into another kiss.

Todd continued to stroke Dirk as they kissed, and was pleasantly surprised when he felt Dirk’s hand rest on his cock as well. He broke away from the kiss to let out a moan as Dirk stroked him, quickening his own pace on Dirk’s cock. He felt Dirk bury his face in the crook of his neck as they stroked each other, and he relished in the short little huffs of breath that he could feel Dirk letting out against his skin.

“Todd, I’m getting close,” Dirk said after a little while, his voice partially muffled from his mouth being practically on Todd’s throat.

“Me too,” said Todd, quickening his pace even more as he felt Dirk’s hips stutter into his grip. He couldn’t stop his own hips from rutting up into Dirk’s hand.

Dirk let out a low moan of Todd’s name as he came, and it was the sexiest thing Todd had ever heard in his entire life, sending him right over the edge with him.

Panting, Dirk brought his head up, away from Todd’s neck, to smile lovingly at him. Todd, feeling as though he were literally glowing, smiled back.

“Todd, I…” Dirk reached up to stroke Todd’s cheek. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” said Todd, truthfully, gazing into Dirk’s eyes.

What he did not expect was for Dirk to subsequently burst into tears. In hindsight, he probably should have expected it, seeing as they both still had quite a bit of alcohol in their systems. “Hey, hey,” Todd said, wrapping his arms around Dirk and pulling him into a hug. “Shhh, what’s the matter?”

“N-No one’s ever loved me like this before,” Dirk mumbled, burying his face in Todd’s shoulder.

“So this is a happy cry?” Todd asked. Dirk made a small noise which Todd took to mean ‘yes,’ and he smiled. “Do you wanna go to bed?” he asked.

He felt Dirk nod into his shoulder, and Todd gently pushed him off of his lap before standing up. Taking Dirk’s hand, he led them out of the jacuzzi and over to the towels. Dirk smiled at him as Todd handed him a towel, and after they had both dried off, they went back into the main room and crawled into bed, neither of them bothering to put on any clothes. Todd pulled Dirk to him as he lay down, wrapping his arms tightly around his detective.

“I love you, Todd,” Dirk repeated, snuggling up to Todd’s chest.

“I love you too, Dirk.”

Dirk let out a contented hum and closed his eyes, drifting easily off to sleep. Todd wasn’t far behind.

 


	5. Capybaras Don't Give A Fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the case comes to a close, Dirk and Todd have some musical fun before they find out who their client really is.

When Todd woke up, he was cold again. He sat up in bed, slowly this time, and looked around to see Dirk sitting in the same position on the couch as he had done the previous morning, again with that apprehensive, scared look on his face.

 _Oh no,_ Todd thought. If Dirk was looking at him like that, it must mean that he had sorely fucked up. He hoped to God that Dirk didn’t hate him now… Well, Dirk probably wouldn’t _hate_ him, he was too nice for that. But he had probably made Dirk become very uncomfortable around him. Todd cursed himself for getting carried away _again._

“Dirk, I’m sorry,” he said, pleading for forgiveness with his eyes. “For what we did last night. I know you don’t feel that way--”

He saw Dirk’s expression change at this, no longer apprehensive and scared. Now he looked, if anything, quite offended.

“And it was stupid of me to--” Todd continued.

“Todd,” Dirk interrupted, his voice shaking slightly. “How can we do what we did last night, and you _still_ don’t see that I…” Dirk closed his eyes, steeling himself. “That I’m in love with you,” he said, quietly.

Oh.

…

_Oh._

It was as though Todd had been slapped in the face by this revelation. His heart was thumping, and he could hardly believe that this was happening. Sure, he and Dirk were best friends, but he had always assumed that Dirk would go for someone much better than him. Dirk, in Todd’s opinion, was way out of his league.

“I just wish,” said Dirk, still looking hurt and angry. “That you wouldn’t have led me on like that--”

“Led you on?” Todd asked, confused.

“Well, I get that when you’re drunk you probably just want to make out with anything that moves, but if you don’t feel the same way about me that I feel about you, then I wish you wouldn’t have--”

“Who said I don’t feel the same way?”

Now it was Dirk’s turn to look like he had been slapped in the face.

“W-What?” Dirk asked, looking at Todd with wide, glistening eyes.

“Dirk, I don’t go making out with just anybody when I’m drunk. I… Jesus, I’m bad at talking about this stuff.” He sighed, looking down at the blanket on his lap, trying to figure out what to say. “I guess, what I’m trying to say is that, well…” He looked back up, directly into Dirk’s eyes. “I… I love you, Dirk…” He offered Dirk a small smile.

“You… you do?” Dirk asked, his eyes impossibly hopeful.

“I told you I loved you, like, twice last night.”

“Yeah, well so did I! And you still didn’t know.”

“Dirk, when you’re drunk, you love everybody. Last night at the club, you were trying to tell those drag queens that you loved them.”

Dirk blinked at him in surprise.

“I… I was?”

“Yeah, that’s why I got so jealous and pulled you away.” Todd chuckled and Dirk blushed.

“Oh,” said Dirk, awkwardly. “Well, erm…” He got up from the couch and walked back over to the bed, sitting down beside Todd and looking at him. “So… What do we do now?”

“Well,” said Todd, his heart still soaring. “We should probably solve the next riddle.” Dirk’s face fell slightly. “But first,” Todd continued. “If it’s okay, I want to do this…” He reached up to take Dirk’s face in both of his hands before bringing him in for a kiss.

Immediately, he felt Dirk’s arms wrap around him, one hand going to his waist and the other tangling itself in his hair.

“Todd, really quick question,” said Dirk, pulling away a bit.

“What’s up?”

“Do I have a boyfriend now?”

Todd chuckled.

“Do you want a boyfriend?” he asked, smiling up at Dirk.

“Very much so,” Dirk replied.

“Then yeah, sure,” Todd said. “Boyfriend it is.”

Dirk grinned broadly before leaning in to kiss Todd again. Todd kissed back, and he was pretty sure that he was happier than he had ever been in his life.

After a few more minutes of kissing, Dirk pulled back and sighed, resting his forehead against Todd’s.

“We should probably work on the case, shouldn’t we…” He pouted. Todd chuckled.

“Probably. But hey, we’ll have plenty of time later to do whatever we want.” He grinned mischievously at Dirk, who blushed and grinned back.

 

It had taken a bit more effort than usual to figure out where they needed to go next. First, they googled what ‘ _otera’_ meant, and discovered that it was the Japanese word for a Buddhist temple. Then, they had googled “Buddhist temple Tokyo,” and found that the most famous one was called ‘ _Senso-ji,’_ located in Asakusa. So, the two of them just decided to head over to that temple and use Dirk’s thing to figure out where to go from there.

With both of them being eager to finish the case, they decided to look for whatever cafe they were supposed to be finding first, and then maybe actually go to the temple later.

From the station, they had found their way to what appeared to be one of the temple gates, inside of which was a variety of little shops full of souvenirs and sweets. Dirk couldn’t help but eye the sweets, but he noticed his boyfriend-- yes, _boyfriend_ \-- giving him a look as though to say, ‘focus.’

They went through the gate and only walked about a block when Dirk felt that familiar tugging in his mind, telling him to turn left. So, left they went, along a crowded shopping street (though not nearly as crowded as Takeshita Street) underneath a wide roof. It wasn’t long before the roof gave way to open sky, and they found themselves on a street called ‘Orange Street.’ And there, almost right in front of them, was a woman holding an owl, standing next to a sign that said ‘Animal Cafe.’ Taking a few steps closer, Dirk could see clearly, on the sign, a picture of a capybara.

“Todd, I think this is it!” he said, excitedly, shaking Todd’s arm. He had never been to an animal cafe before, and the prospect truly excited him. As he looked at the owl perched on the woman’s arm, however, he got a strange, sinking feeling in his stomach. Something wasn’t right with that bird.

The woman welcomed them, and the two of them made their way up some stairs to where the cafe was. As soon as they got inside, and Dirk got a look at some more animals that were being kept in there, his bad feeling grew worse.

Todd led them up to the cashier and they paid for two entrance tickets to the cafe. Then, they were instructed to put on some hand sanitizer, and then one of the workers guided them in how to pat the owls that were being shown off in the cafe. Sure enough, the place was filled with various perches and branches, upon which several owls sat.

“Todd,” Dirk said, quietly, as they entered the main part of the cafe. “These birds, they aren’t happy…”

Todd looked at him, then back around at the owls.

“Yeah, they look really… complacent,” he said with a frown.

“They feel trapped,” Dirk said, looking into the eyes of one of the owls. He could _feel_ how unhappy these animals were, and it was killing him.

“Is this your empathy thing?” Todd asked, resting a comforting hand on Dirk’s arm. Dirk nodded, and Todd rubbed his arm, soothingly.

“I’m sorry, Dirk,” Todd said, quietly. “I don’t think we can do anything to help them…”

Dirk nodded solemnly, understanding. He continued looking at the owl in front of him, trying to convey with his eyes how sorry he was for it. He was distracted, however, by something pushing past his leg. After regaining his balance from nearly falling over, he looked down to see a capybara walking in front of him, pushing through other people’s legs as well, clearly not giving a fuck about anything.

“Dirk, you don’t think,” said Todd, who had also seen the capybara.

“Let’s go,” Dirk said, beginning to follow it. This proved slightly difficult, as while the capybara had no problem simply pushing through people in order to get where it wanted to be, Dirk and Todd didn’t particularly want to be rude. Eventually, the capybara led them to the corner of the cafe, by the vending machines where they were supposed to get their free drinks.

Dirk and Todd stopped in their tracks nearby as the capybara sniffed behind one of the vending machines, before slowly turning to look up at them. Then, after staring at them for a few seconds, it went back to sniffing behind the machine.

“Is there something behind there?” asked Dirk, going over to the vending machine to look behind it, expecting to find another riddle. The capybara refused to move out of Dirk’s way as he did this, so Dirk was forced to sort of step over it with one leg in order to look behind the machine. Reaching into the gap between the machine and the wall, Dirk grabbed ahold of, and subsequently pulled out, a clock. The front face of the clock seemed to be broken, but there were lots of multicolored signatures from various people covering every inch of its surface.

“You found the clock!” Todd exclaimed. Dirk turned to grin at him.

“Did it!” Dirk said, snapping one of his fingers. Right at that moment, however, the capybara moved out from under him, knocking one of his legs along the way so that Dirk fell onto his bum with a yelp.

“Dirk!” Todd rushed over to him to help him up.

“Ow…” Dirk said as he took hold of Todd’s arm to pull himself back up to his feet.

“You okay?” Todd asked, chuckling.

“I’m not sure I’m a fan of capybaras,” Dirk replied with a small pout. He held the clock up and examined it, before turning it over. His eyes widened in surprise as he discovered a message taped to the back.

‘ _You found me! Now you must rejoice! You may celebrate with your voice. The next singing place you see, a reward there for you will be.’_

“Oh, nice, we get a reward,” said Todd. “Maybe this is when we get to go to the future?”

“Yes, and meet the Pokemon CEO!” said Dirk, excitedly.

“Let’s go, then,” said Todd with a smile.

“Yes,” agreed Dirk. “The sooner we get out of here, the better.” And without further ado, he led Todd out of the animal cafe, not even bothering to get their free drink, eager to leave the cruel establishment.

As they left, he took a final glance back at the captive animals. His heart went out for them, it truly did. He knew all too well what it was like to be kept in captivity, unable to ‘spread his wings and fly.’ He had no idea how he might be able to help the poor creatures. All he knew was that, sometime in the future, he perhaps wanted to try. With that thought swirling around in his mind, he turned back around and left the cafe.

 

Feeling excited for whatever reward they were about to receive, Dirk and Todd turned right as they left the cafe and headed that way down Orange Street. When they got to a busy road, they turned left, and then recognized it to be the road they had come up from the train station on. After walking for a few minutes, Dirk pointed at one of the places on their left.

“Todd, look!”

Sure enough, there was a karaoke place.

“You think this is the ‘singing place?’” Todd asked.

“Must be, right?” figured Dirk. “What else would a ‘singing place’ be?”

Curiously, the two of them went inside the establishment and up to the front desk.

“ダークジェントリー様？" asked the front desk worker as they approached. Remembering the flight attendant saying this exact same thing, Dirk smiled.

“That’s me,” he said. “Daaku Jentorii. Dirk Gently.”

The front desk worker smiled back at him and walked out from behind the desk.

“This way, please,” he said, gesturing towards a hallway with a bunch of doors in it. Dirk and Todd followed him down it until he reached one of the rooms and opened the door to let them in.

Upon entering the room, Dirk and Todd found a small room with couches on either side and a table in the middle, with a large television screen at the front. On the table was a drink menu, as well as a basket of what looked like fried chicken. In the corner of the room was a smaller table with two microphones and an ipad.

Dirk and Todd each took seats on the couches, looking around at their surroundings.

“飲み放題と食べ放題があります," said the worker, gesturing to the drink menu and the fried chicken, respectively.

“Uh, what?” asked Todd.

“All you can drink,” said the worker, gesturing at the drink menu. “All you can eat,” he said, gesturing at the chicken.

“How much is it?” Todd asked with interest, eyeing the drink menu.

“For free,” said the worker with a smile. “Is a gift.”

Dirk and Todd looked at each other with matching surprised smiles.

“This is our reward then, I guess,” said Dirk, feeling excited about karaoke.

“Please,” said the worker, gesturing once again to the drink menu. “Choose drink.”

“Erm, I’ll have the… fuzzy navel,” said Dirk, after looking at the menu, which was thankfully written in English.

“I’ll try a lemon sour,” said Todd, after looking at the menu himself.

“はい、分かりました,” said the worker before bowing and leaving the room.

Todd stood up and crossed the room to get the microphones and the ipad. He put the microphones down on the table near Dirk before going back to his seat and turning the ipad on. He saw an option for English at the bottom, so he tapped it.

“Hey, Dirk, I think this is how we choose songs to sing.”

“Let me see.” Dirk took the ipad from Todd and tapped a bit on it before gasping.

“What is it?” Todd asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at his boyfriend. Dirk merely grinned evilly before doing some more tapping. Suddenly, the television screen changed. Dirk had chosen the first song. The screen now read the words: AMARETTA - MEXICAN FUNERAL.

Todd’s eyes widened dramatically.

“Oh no,” he said as Dirk shoved a microphone in his face.

“Come on, Todd!” said Dirk, gleefully. Resigning himself to his fate, Todd took the microphone and began to sing. He got more into it as he went along, very much motivated by the lovestruck way Dirk was watching him.

Their drinks came after the first song, and they ate and drank as they had fun with the singing. Dirk made Todd sing a couple more Mexican Funeral songs, and then they did a duet to I See The Light from the movie Tangled. Then, Dirk let Todd sing some Green Day, and Todd let Dirk do some Ella Fitzgerald.

Dirk had just finished singing a very pretty, but quite long song called Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered when the screen suddenly turned off. The two of them looked at each other in alarm, then back at the screen, where it suddenly showed video feed of an awkward young man with short red hair, glasses, and a bit of stubble.

“Having fun?” the man on the screen asked, smiling at them.

“Who are you?” asked Dirk, narrowing his eyes.

“My name is Mark Alvarado, and I am the 2038 Pokemon CEO.”

“Wait, how can you be a CEO? You look, what, 25?” Todd asked, narrowing his eyes as well.

“Well I’m not the CEO yet, obviously,” said the man, Mark. “I plan to be by the year 2038.”

“So… you’re not actually _from_ the year 2038?” asked Dirk.

“ _From_ 2038?” asked Mark, looking confused.

“Yeah, like from the future,” Todd said.

“How would I be from the future?” Mark asked, furrowing his brow.

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Todd muttered, thinking of the Patrick Spring case.

“Wait, so, you’re not actually CEO of anything?” Dirk asked.

“Like I said,” replied Mark. “In 2038 I plan to be the CEO of--”

“Yeah, yeah, we know,” said Todd, beginning to get annoyed. “But you aren’t actually an important person of any kind right now?”

“Well… no.”

Todd and Dirk both groaned.

“Then what was this case _for_?” Dirk whined.

“Yeah, we found your stupid clock,” said Todd, holding up the clock from where they had set it down on the table.

“Yes!” said Mark, triumphantly. “Congratulations, you have passed my test.”

“Test?” Todd and Dirk asked in unison.

“I figure, with the way my life is going,” explained Mark. “There will be many mysteries involved. One of these days I will probably need a good detective. One who is used to ‘unusual’ circumstances. So when I saw an ad for your agency, I decided to test you to see if you would be a good fit for my needs in the future.”

“So you just decided to test us against our will?” asked Dirk, very angrily.

“Hey, hey,” said Todd, quietly, to Dirk, laying a hand on his arm to comfort him. Dirk seethed, but seemed to calm down a bit at Todd’s touch.

“I hid the clock in that cafe, and left a series of difficult clues for you to find it. And, if I do say, you did a fabulous job!”

“So we passed your dumb test, did we? That’s just great,” said Todd, sarcastically, still rubbing Dirk’s arm.

“Yes,” said Mark with a pleased expression. “I will definitely hire you for any future cases!”

“No you won’t,” said Dirk with a huff, glaring at the screen.

“Yeah, fuck off,” said Todd. “Come on, Dirk.”

He tugged on Dirk’s arm, and the two of them left the karaoke room, effectively silencing Mark’s pleads for them to reconsider behind the soundproof door as it shut behind them.

“What an asshole,” Todd commented, rolling his eyes as they went back out onto the streets of Asakusa.

“I can’t believe we just came all the way to Japan for nothing,” Dirk said, sounding close to tears. “Just to have some stupid test put on us.”

“Hey, babe, look at me.” Todd stopped in his tracks and turned Dirk around to look at him. “You did amazingly on this case. You solved it, just like you always do.” “But it wasn’t even a real case,” said Dirk with a huff.

“Also,” added Todd. “In my opinion, this trip was super productive. If we hadn’t come here, we never would have…” He took hold of Dirk’s hand and smiled softly at him. Dirk squeezed his hand and smiled back. “And Dirk, we got to go to Japan! How cool is that, right? Even if it wasn’t technically a ‘real’ case, I think it was really important for us…”

“You’re right,” said Dirk, shaking his head with a smile. “I’m glad we came.”

“Me too,” said Todd. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Todd.”

“So hey, fuck that Mark guy!” Todd said with a grin. “Wanna go explore the temple? I’ll buy you some ice cream.”

“You always know just what to say,” said Dirk, mockingly. He kissed Todd on the cheek and the two of them began walking back towards the temple, determined to spend the rest of their time in Japan for each other, and for themselves, knowing that even when they had to go back home, everything would be different. Everything would be better.

Everything would be good.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!  
> As I said before, I tried to make everything as accurate to Tokyo as possible!  
> So, if you ever find yourself in Tokyo...  
> a) let me know cause I'll be living here until August 2019 so we should hang out if you're here before then  
> b) see if you can find some of these places! maybe not the animal cafe though, don't give money to those jerks
> 
> Again, thanks to DontOffendTheBees on AO3 for betaing, and thanks to translaforge on tumblr for the art!!!  
> <3


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